Oasis

 One day last week, I was feeling particularly overwhelmed and I knew I needed to dial things back for a bit. 

But how?

Should I throw my phone in the trash? Meditate? Take a nap? 

I opted for none of these. Instead, I did two other things.

I turned my phone off (literally) for 15 minutes. 

I focused on finishing open, incomplete tasks. 

Less than 5 minutes into my phone hiatus, my watch buzzed.

So I took it off and set it aside. 

So often, when we're feeling overwhelmed, it's hard to know how to find relief but, if we allow ourselves a moment, a starting point might very well present itself. Turning off my phone not only made me feel more in charge of my schedule, but it also gave me immediate relief from an entire set of unnecessary interruptions. As a responsible adult who is a daughter, wife, and mother, I don't feel comfortable taking myself out of the loop for long periods of time, but fifteen minutes seemed safe enough. In my world, it's rare that something happens that can't wait 15 minutes for resolution.

Finishing things I'd started was similarly empowering. Lots of hanging to-dos rob us of one of the key joys of having a to-do list in the first place: checking things off. Focusing on things I'd already begun got me to the finish line more quickly, leaving me with a feeling of accomplishment that took the edge off the feeling of overwhelm.

My list didn't magically shrink and unbidden texts with solicitations and other unwelcome requests didn't magically disappear after the fifteen minutes were up but, for a short space of time, I had the peace and quiet I needed to figure out what deserved my focus and, perhaps more important, what I wanted to focus on.

Life is busy -- too busy sometimes. Even when the things on the list are things we want to do, they can be numerous enough to overwhelm us. Taking just a moment to step back and ask ourselves what we need, or what we would do if any and all options were open to us can help us to create an oasis in the midst of chaos -- one that's long enough to help us catch our breath before moving on to the next mountain of tasks. 

And some days, a brief oasis is exactly what we need.

One Less Key to Carry

 On Monday, we replaced the lock on our side door. I'm excited about the new keypad lock in terms of both looks and function, but it made my beach key obsolete. Such is the price of progress, I suppose, but today seemed like a good day to re-share this post.

In novels, dialogue and actions reveal character. By paying careful attention to what characters say and do, a reader can pick up a lot of clues about what makes characters tick and what's important to them.

Possessions can be revealing, too, both in novels and in real life. This afternoon, as I was waiting in my car for a family member to return, I took a good look at my keyring -- an item I pick up at least twice a day. Some of its contents aren't mysterious at all. Keys to the important places in my world -- my house, my car, my shared office at work. A "Leah" charm with a pigtailed little girl on it, and another imprinted with Bucknell University, both of which have been on my key ring for so long I forgot they were there.

Others go beyond face value. The bright pink "Jersey Girl" ribbon that comes in so handy for plucking my keys out of the depths of whatever bag I'm using isn't just about being able to take the girl out of Jersey, but not taking the Jersey out of the girl. I bought it on one of our first trips to take my daughter to college in Connecticut, and every time I see it, it reminds me of that trip and, by extension, my daughter.

The pale, nubby starfish hanging from my key ring brings back memories of another trip -- the one and only cruise we took. I no longer remember which Del Sol, or even which Caribbean island, for that matter, I bought it in, but every time the sunlight hits it and it turns purple, I remember not only the trip, but also the tough days in which that magically purple piece of plastic made me smile and, for just a moment, picture being back on a Caribbean island.

Finally, there's the Miraculous Medal that I added to my key ring when my mom was sick. I was driving 

Did I mention my house key is in a flip flop print?
(Photo: Home Depot)

back and forth between Pennsylvania and New Jersey pretty often, and I got in the habit of tucking a Miraculous Medal into my pocket when I traveled. For a while, my mom wore one around her neck as well and, when this one showed up in the mail, I wasted no time adding it to my key ring collection. It brought me hope and comfort in a time where both were in short supply; perhaps that's why it has lingered on my key ring.

One thing's for sure: my key ring would be lighter and less bulky without all these extras. Then again, it would have a lot less character.

Which of your possessions tells a little too much about you?

Re-Release and Re-Creation

 Fall break is only a long weekend but it brings with it two flip flop days -- days where I can shift my priorities from school work to other projects. On tap this time? Working on revisions of Know Thyself to prepare for its re-release. 

I've done a re-release before. When I got the rights back to Casting the First Stone, I took it from traditionally published by a small house to self-published via Amazon. The process wasn't without its challenges, but it was relatively straightforward. Aside from a new cover and some adjustments to the interior design and credits, the text remained intact.

Re-releasing a non-fiction book seven years after its initial publication is proving to be a bit more complicated. This realization caught me off-guard at first but I'm learning that those complications are actually opportunities for not just a fresh look but a fresh approach as well, and that's exciting.

Also time-consuming.

So, what's new? Well, the cover, for one thing. Instead of a do-it-yourself Canva-assisted version, I hired a cover designer who quickly showed me just how much I did NOT know about cover design. Mind you, she never said a word to make me feel embarrassed by my lack of knowledge. Instead, she provided things I didn't even know I needed, and I'm delighted with the outcome.

It then became my job to create an interior that lived up to what Katie had created. The first challenges were technical, and I believe I've found a solution; I'll know for sure when I finish my revisions and dig in a bit deeper.

As for the actual words between the covers, since the book is a re-release, most of it will remain unchanged. Still, I've learned a few things and developed some new ideas and opinions since the book first came out and I want to incorporate those thoughts into the new version. 

Perhaps the biggest change is that I'm leaning a bit more into the secular in this new edition. Because Know Thyself  was originally published by a Catholic press, faith-based voice and concepts were in the foreground. As grateful as I was (and still am) to OSV for getting my book out into the world, I've always wondered if those editorial choices left some of my audience out or, even worse, caused those with differing beliefs to disregard the book, even though its ideas and advice were suitable for all audiences. After a great deal of thought, I've decided to try to strike a balance with the re-release representing a broader swath of who I am. Toward this end, I've re-examined the quotes that introduce each chapter, keeping some of the Bible verses (because that remains a part of who I am), but replacing others with quotes that will speak to a larger audience. I want to honor the platforms that helped bring this book into the world in the first place while simultaneously recognizing that organizing is a universal life skill, not one that's limited to a select audience.

As I work on these edits, I'm also looking to create some ways to share my updated content with loyal readers who've already bought the book, especially since the content changes aren't substantial enough to warrant purchasing a new copy (though I certainly won't stop you if you want to buy one -- LOL!) Those are in the works, and the best way to stay in the loop is to sign up for my newsletter or follow me on Instagram or join my Facebook group. I'm not trying to be mysterious; the truth is that I haven't yet taken these freebies from idea to execution, and my newsletter, Instagram account, and Facebook group are the places where I most often share "breaking news" about books and writing.

So, stay tuned. I've already come to terms with the fact that this re-release won't be fast, but I hope the new edition will be worth the wait.

An Anti-To-Do List Afternoon

 One of my favorite recurring posts that I create for Instagram is "this or that." Eat in or take out. Hot weather or cold. Homebody or world traveler.

You get the drift. 

One afternoon last week, I decided to let "this or that" govern the way my afternoon unfolded. I'd been feeling a bit scattered, which not only made it hard for me to decide where my focus should go, but also made it challenging to focus on even the things I wanted to devote my time and energy to. 

On this particular afternoon, I had a block of time at my disposal, but the pile of things I wanted to get to was larger than the time slot available (as usual). Typically, I'd create a to-do list, but instead,  I decided I'd take it one decision at a time. When I finished one task, I'd consider my remaining options and pose the "this or that?" question. If necessary, I would keep asking that question until I landed on the thing I really wanted to do next. In addition, I pressed the timer on my phone into service so that no one task would eat up more than its fair share of time.

How did it go, you ask?

It was a good plan, but not a perfect one. By the end of the afternoon, I'd done some school work (both grading and planning), made an appointment I'd been wanting to make, and written the first draft of this blog post, something that, overpowered by the pile of tasks clamoring for my attention, hadn't even been on my radar. More school work remained when the timer went off, but none of it needed to be done immediately, so I moved on to the next task.

If definitely felt like a win.

The timer, on the other hand, was a mixed blessing. While helpful, it made things a little more stressful than I'd expected, putting a damper on the vibe I was hoping for (a relaxing yet productive afternoon). It was great at keeping me moving, but it also sucked some of the fun out of tasks I would typically have enjoyed doing, so I ditched it after the first few tasks. 

Moving through items based on what felt like the right fit for the day was a good call. Even without a specific list, I felt more accomplished and decisive than I had when I'd started. Even thought the pile in front of me didn't get appreciably smaller, it turns out that checking things off a list -- even an invisible, unstated one -- can be surprisingly satisfying.

So often, we live our lives according to someone else's timetable. My this-or that afternoon reminded me of the importance of following my own rhythms and listening to myself when I declared my own priorities. Sure, a chunk of the original pile is still there, waiting for me to choose it, but it's there by choice. The mere passage of time might render some of it moot (please??) and, if not, what remains might be a better fit for a different day.

Perhaps another this-or-that day.

Welcome to My Favorite Season!

 Happy first day of fall! Although the month leading up to fall leaves me more sneezy and stuffy than any other season does, fall is still my favorite, for a few reasons. 

The school supplies. I have loved stationery since I was a little girl! While the notebooks and pens and planners near and dear to this writer's heart are technically a summer purchase, I still associate back-to-school with fall. 

The temperatures. When it comes to the weather, I identify wholeheartedly with Goldilocks -- I don't like being too hot or too cold, which means I find fall just right.

The crispness. I love the snap in the air on a fall morning -- it definitely beats the humidity of summer. And, when it's tempered with sunshine and low humidity, I consider that a perfect day. 

The colors. I can't imagine living in a place that doesn't have seasons -- I would miss the changing colors of the leaves. My chair in the sunroom, my drive into work, and my walks across campus afford me with plenty of opportunities to take it all in.

The wardrobe. Any season that requires a sweatshirt or a cardigan is all right with me -- I love cozy clothes, and their softness is a perfect counterpart to the crispness of the air. Add a lightweight blanket and a good book, and I'm a happy camper.

On this first day of fall, I want to remind myself to look up and appreciate all these things I enjoy. It's so easy, even in my favorite season, to get wrapped up in my own thoughts and to-do lists and to miss the beauty all around me. 

How about you? What's your favorite season? And how do you make sure to take it all in?

Image by Hans from Pixabay

Shopping on my Kindle

 Over Labor Day weekend, I set out to catalog the content of my e-reader.

Little did I know how much there was to catalog.

I thought I'd do my usual Sunday Sampling, checking out the samples I'd downloaded to get a flavor of the book before hitting the "add to cart" button. This time, I tracked not just those samples, but also all the other books -- open and unopened, so to speak -- I came across along the way.

After cataloging almost 60 books in progress (37 non-fiction, 15 fiction and 7 books not meant to be read cover-to-cover, like daily devotionals and journaling prompts) and nearly as many unread samples, I gave up, overwhelmed. I was only about halfway through, and I'd lost my taste for buried treasure.

I knew I read multiple books at a time, but this was ridiculous.

I changed tack and started digging into things that looked interesting, hoping to make decisions about what to keep and what to delete. The samples were an easy target -- not only were they short, but I hadn't paid anything for them, making them easy to delete, as well as a great entry point into what I might actually want to read when I picked up my Kindle.

Good choice. After seeing how much was really there (okay, about half of what was really there),  I was able to be more ruthless about what stayed and what did not while remaining open to new gems -- samples that would make the cut and inspire me to make a purchase. 

And that's when it hit me. I wasn't just cataloging my Kindle. 

I was window-shopping.

That little bit of reframing suddenly made the task less onerous. What had begun as an administrative task turned into a shopping spree where I'd already paid for a big chunk of the merchandise. 

In the end, my bill was small, my credit card unscathed. I got rid of close to 20 samples, with only two of the other samples I read making the transition from sample to wish list. Later in the week, on Kindle double points day, I purchased one of those two books. 

Now, when I open my e-reader, the top of my home screen no longer contains miscellaneous samples or a mishmash of what I've dipped into most recently. While I didn't succeed in cataloging the contents of my e-reader, I accomplished the underlying goal -- finding something good to read amid the pile-up of maybes. 

Even better, given the unprobed depths of my Kindle library, I'm now certain that, when I finish need a good book, I know just where to go shopping, for free.

Kinda.

In the Driver's Seat

Meet Tilly :-)

 Guess who now owns her car! Well, the bank and I do. My lease came to an end and a decision needed to be made. Luckily, it was an easy decision since I like my car and, if you know me, you know when I like something, I hang on to it for a good long time, and cars are no exception.

To celebrate, I took myself out to dinner. There's a restaurant I like next to the dealership, and while we used to go there all the time, it's no longer a family favorite. So, since my husband was at the gym, it was a perfect time to treat myself.

When I was single and in my 20s, I did things like this a lot -- going out to dinner by myself, that is, not buying cars. I mean, why deprive myself of something I wanted, whether it was eating a meatball sub or watching the latest movie release, just because I was flying solo?

These days, "solo" is actually something I relish more than ever. I got used to it as a graduate student in my early 20s, learning not only to do things alone but to enjoy my own company as well. In my 30s, I gradually ceded my alone as marriage and motherhood framed my life. Quiet pursuits were no longer the norm and, to be honest, as much as I enjoyed my solo time, I also enjoyed being in the thick of things.

Now, as an empty-nester with a work schedule different from my husband's, I often have the house to myself, making solo time, once again, more the norm. During the day, my home serves as my office when I'm not teaching, not to mention my writing studio, organizing work-in-progress, and so many other things. I'm comfortable there, and that comfort has made risk-taking and solo pursuits much less frequent occurrences than they used to be. Now, I have to remind myself to step out of the comfortable day-to-day and dare to do things on my own that would perhaps be more comfortable if I had company or support. 

Like taking myself out to dinner.

How was it? Quiet, despite the rise and fall of conversations all around me. But mostly, it was delicious in every sense of the word. 

Shh. Don't tell my husband.